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"Doesn't give a cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all recovery plan, but rather suggests several 'paths to healing' and exercises to help you 'emotionally leave home.' This is self-help at its best."

"Excels in describing threads common to many extreme parenting styles . . . and to the way children subjected to them feel once they've grown up."
Dallas Morning News, Dallas TX, Nov. 1, 1998

"A step-by-step plan...[to] deprogram [yourself]...from the ingrained and harmful habits taught by unhealthy guardians....Neuharth relays methods to change habitual feelings of low self-esteem, distrust, or even a willingness to be victimized."
Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles CA, Nov. 2, 1998

"Accessible, clear, unambiguous....can help adults heal the wounds of the past, or at least reach a higher understanding."
Florida TODAY, Cocoa FL, Sept. 16, 1998

"Explains how to make sure that your growing pains with your parents don't develop into grown pains."
New Woman magazine, December 1998

"There is a difference between healthy parenting and damaging control -- the latter creates self-effacing, anxious children and adults. Family therapist Dr. Dan Neuharth, himself the product of a controlling parent, guides those who grew up with unhealthy control to discovery and resolution."

"An often-chilling insight into just how destructive a parent can be."
Baltimore Sun, Baltimore MD, Oct. 25, 1998

"Invites readers to discover where they fall on the spectrum, and encourages them to offset the negative effects of such parenting through self-examination, self-responsibility and independence."
Marin Independent Journal, Marin County CA, Oct. 12, 1998

"Full of down-to-earth advice and support for people whose parents might not have been physically or sexually abusive, but nonetheless limited their children's lives with persistent, unhealthy control."
Publishers Weekly, Aug. 3, 1998

"The stories of 40 men and women interviewed draw a numbing picture....Neuharth writes and speaks from experience."
Columbus Dispatch, Columbus OH, Sept. 23, 1998

"A fresh, compelling and probing analysis of a lifelong struggle that too few of us confront. Most importantly, the book leads us to an epiphany: more than endure, we can prevail."
Walter Anderson, author, The Confidence Course

"Demystifies much within our pasts that can hurt our intimate relationships in ways we may not even realize. Even if you feel guilty, resentful or hopeless about your past and your parents, If You Had Controlling Parents helps spark understanding and acceptance across the generations."
John Gray, Ph.D., author, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

"Explains how overcontrolling parents discourage dissent, stifle strong emotions, criticize more than praise, mete out harsh discipline, make children earn their love and insist that they're always right."
Democrat and Chronicle, Rochester NY, Sept. 16, 1998

"Dan Neuharth's If You Had Controlling Parents can claim a very respectable spot on the shelf of self-help books....the book is solid."
USA Today, Sept. 16, 1998

"There's a lot of good advice in there for people who have had controlling parents."
Oprah Winfrey on Oprah, Oct. 22, 1998

"Potentially a life-changer. Gently written but covers very important issues. You really get a sense of your own self."
Dr. Pamela Brewer, Host, MyNDTALK, WPFW-FW Washington DC, Sept. 3, 2004

"I've interviewed a lot of authors, and this is one of the most important books that has been published in a long time....I am really impressed with this book."
Carol Arnold, The Carol Arnold Show, KNOR-AM, Norman OK, Sept. 21, 1998

"It's a terrific book. When the book arrived at the station, I just inhaled it. I loved it."
Ann Cody, host, Common Ground, WZLX-FM, Boston, Sept. 27, 1998

"If you wonder whether you were raised by controlling parents, I urge you to get this book. It's a wonderful book."
Marcia Kimpton, co-host, ParenTalk, KVON-AM, Napa CA, Oct. 11, 1998

"Helpful information for parents and their adult children....An excellent book."
Jimmy Launce, host, The Jimmy Launce Show, WYUR-AM, Detroit, Dec. 14, 1998

Bestseller Rankings Accumulated Since Publication:

National Bestseller: #7, UPI Arts and Entertainment Booklist

National Bestseller: #9, Ingram Books A-List Top 50 requested titles

National Bestseller: #11, Hot 100

Online Bestseller: #1, "Parent & Adult Child" titles

Online Bestseller: #1, "Recovery" titles

Online Bestseller: #1, "Parental Overprotection" titles

Online Bestseller: #3, "Recovery" titles

Online Bestseller: #2, BarnesandNoble "Adult Children of Dysfunctional Parents" titles

Online Bestseller: #2, "Manipulative Behavior" titles

Online Bestseller: Germany: #2, "Recovery" titles

Online Bestseller: France: #4, "Recovery" titles

E-book Bestseller: #1, Amazon Kindle reader "Parent and Adult Child" titles

E-book Bestseller: #4, Amazon Kindle reader "Dysfunctional Relationships" titles

San Francisco Bay Area Bestseller: #7, Printers Inc. monthly bestseller

Finalist, 1998 "Books For A Better Life" Award

Featured Selection, The Behavioral Science Book Club

Featured Selection, The Psychotherapy Book Club

Abridged version available in audiotape

"Calmly and wisely dissects the dysfunctional family and offers steps for reconciling with one's past. Neuharth intersperses quotes from patients throughout the work, reading each perspective with respect, empathy, and understanding....Neuharth follows through in the last part of the tape with concrete, sound advice to move toward gaining control over one's life."
AudioFile magazine, 2000

Audio Bestseller: #11, Audiobooks


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Signs of Overcontrol Health vs. Overcontrol Controlling Styles Statistics Ideas & Help Control Hollywood-style Resources and Links About the Book About the Author Site Map


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This site is designed for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for psychotherapy or a visit to a mental health professional. If you are experiencing abnormal anxiety, depression, or serious emotional or situational difficulties, please seek professional help immediately. Click here for suggestions on finding a therapist

Visit Dr. Neuharth's professional psychotherapy website

If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place in the World
Published by HarperCollins Publishers

Copyright Dan Neuharth, Ph.D.  All rights reserved.